“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state…Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” – James Allen
It’s true! A man usually embraces a society most like himself.
I was having one of these decent conversations with a thought-full friend when this thought came up again and hit me like a thunderbolt.
You will attract who you are.
The question now is – who are you?
If you are not satisfied with the quality of your friendship, romantic relationships, business associate or even your circumstances, this is the kind of question you ought to be asking.
If you are deep, you will attract deep people. If you are shallow, you will attract your kind. If you are dishonest, you will attract your kind. If you have a victim mentality, you will attract an insecure abuser.
To attract the best into your life, you need to explore these 4 ideas:
1. Discover who you are
This is the most important discovery of your life. You will never be better until you come to the realization of your identity, your purpose and your uniqueness.
As long as you keep seeing yourself as ordinary, common, run-of-the-mill kind of person, you will always end up compromising yourself and settling for less.
When you discover the giant within you, it shapes the thoughts you think, the books you read, the jobs you choose, the relationships you permit to flourish in your life.
Not everything is good for you. Not anything is good for you. Not everybody should be in your life. You don’t need the crowd. And you won’t know this until you discover who you are.
2. Focus on the best possible version of you
The secret of vigorous self improvement is personal discovery. When you know who you are and make peace with it, you can then focus on becoming the best version of you.
Your best effort at self improvement should be directed towards your purpose. Don’t become the best version of who society wants you to be or who your parents wants you to be or who your spouse or friends want you to be. Become the best version of who God wants you to be.
You will never develop what you don’t value and you can’t value what you haven’t discovered. Again seek to know who you are.
Invest in yourself. You are your most important asset. First be a blessing to yourself then you can be a blessing to others.
3. Improve your thinking
Thoughts really are powerful. King Solomon warned,
“Be careful how you think, your life is shaped by your thoughts.”
Your thoughts are creating a magnetic field around you whether you are aware of it or not. You will attract people, romantic relationships, career, wealth that is in line with your dominant thoughts.
I can tell what is your innermost hunger by the kind of books you read. It says something about you when all you feed your mind with is gossips and soft sell magazines.
James Allen said, ”
You can’t travel within and stand still without.”
Eventually who you are on the inside, formed largely by your dominant thoughts, will line up with your circumstances. It is only a matter of time.
I have watched people try to change their lives but never invest in good thinking. They need to always remember James Allen’s words, ”
You are today where your thoughts have
brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”
To attract the right circumstances and people into your life, you need to change your thinking. You need to improve your thinking. Deep always call unto deep. You are what you think.
4. Become who you pretend to be
The best way to ensure we don’t attract wrong people or circumstances is to avoid duplicity. This is what cancels the effect of the law of attraction.
You can’t desire wealth and permit thoughts of poverty. You can’t desire purity and permit impure thoughts to run amok in your mind. You can’t be searching for a honest and decent man and be a seductive vixen. You can’t desire a good wife yet be a low quality man or the kind who enjoys the company of women of easy virtue.
Don’t send conflicting signals to life about what you want.
We all have areas of inconsistency, where we don’t yet measure up to what we appear to be. The most important thing is to seek to close that gap, ensuring that who you are and who you appear to be are the same.
This for me is my highest aspiration. The reality of this principle is sobering because I recognize I have got work to do. I’m far from perfect because I need to put my house in greater order.
Nathaniel Hawthorne’s insight is profound here,
“No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.”
This is not to mean you need to have a perfect life to attract the best. But it sure demands that you need to be honest and true no matter the degree of your imperfection.
Let’s have a conversation
Is there any way in which what you have allowed in yourself is attracting the wrong people or circumstances? What is the quality of your thinking? In what ways do you intend to improve it?
Please comment below.