Why Beauty Doesn’t Keep A Man and What Does


It takes every strength a man has to resist the charm of a beautiful woman.

One of the greatest attribute women present is beauty. Men have written thousands of songs, written paper tons of poetry in praise of a beautiful woman.

I join to say that a beautiful woman is one of life’s greatest aesthetics.

Sadly, it doesn’t last forever.


I do not think God designed women to sustain a man’s attraction or delight by the look of their face or the shape of their body but by the beauty of their soul.

Men are not as shallow as we think. At least not all.

Have you ever found yourself considering an old woman as beautiful yet she has wrinkles and the signs of age. It’s usually that grace in such women has subverted the fleeting delight of beauty.

True, a cantankerous woman is ugly whether fair or not, young or old. And I rest my case.

I speak as a man. Beauty will never keep a man. The media is replete with scandalous tales of men who have cheated on some of the world’s most beautiful women.

What keeps a man from comparing sticking to one woman to the monotony of watching a single TV channel all the days of his life?

What makes a man to see variety where none exist? What continues to make a woman delightful to her man long after beauty has faded?

I found my answer in Solomon’s proverb.

“She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.” Prov31:12 (AMP)

A noble and worthy man, the one described as “known in the city’s gates”, obviously because of his influence, wisdom, achievements and contribution needs 3 things in a woman:

1. Comfort

Comfort here goes beyond the sex. I know men delight in sex and it’s the way we are wired. But do not misinterpret a man’s sexual interest as a sign of enduring delight in a woman.

For men especially in our shallow moments and eagerness to sow wild oats, sex can be a sport. Score some goals and move on. No attachment. No strings attached.

A woman brings a man comfort when he delights in her affection. You are his comforter when you are the woman he wants around in his lowest moments. And every man knows that woman. Not all women fall into this category.

A prostitute can’t fulfil that role. She might take away his loneliness temporarily but she doesn’t soothe his soul nor minister to his spirit.

Sincerely life can be hard on men. We have battle to fight. We often want to prove ourselves. We want to earn enough to provide for our families. We are always told a real man should never cry. Such tall demands!

We need a woman who makes it look OK for us to admit when we can’t manage all these demands, who looks at us through the eyes of grace and loving kindness.

We want to admit we are less than perfect and know we won’t be rejected. We want to know that our failings won’t be used to identify us. That is what it means to bring comfort to a man.

The world is cold. Is your heart, your touch, your words a fireplace for him to find warmth when the rain of life beats him hard?

2. Encouragement

I know men like to pretend we can do bad all by ourselves. Society’s fascination with the alpha male makes men think they don’t need strong and real relationships. Our thinking can be that needing people’s affirmation is for wimps and weak-willed men. How untrue!

I agree that a man should not seek other people’s permission to express his greatness.

In retrospect, a woman’s encouragement can be one of the most powerful motivations in a man’s life. No man wants to let down a woman who has an unwavering faith in him.

You will always have the keys to his heart when your lips drip with words of encouragement. Some women simply know how to speak to the king in a man. Their words are magical!

A wise woman will build her house and her major tool is her words. We are all mirrors and we sometimes see ourselves best in the reflection of another. The question is – what does your words and affection show him?

One of our greatest longing as men is to be appreciated. We don’t admit it but a woman who gives a good dose of it will cast a spell on us.

A man will seek encouragement directly or indirectly even if its the other woman who provides it. Why not be the one who speaks the most inspiring language to him?

3. Goodness

This is most important. When we don’t trust, men don’t commit.

Of all that can be said in praise of a woman, nothing can compare to when a man can trust his woman without reservation.

Nothing compares to when a full disclosure of his real self is not used as a weapon of manipulation.

Woman, can he trust you to do him good and not evil as long as there is life within you?

Is the knowledge of his bank balance safe from your spending hands? Will you see his budding wealth as opportunities for spending or investment. Can he share a business idea with you? Can you incubate his God-given vision?

I know you think goodness is only about not cheating on him. You are right! That is the first and fundamental definition of goodness for a man.

Let’s go on to the weightier matters.

Can your man be happy that his kids can emulate your virtues and grow up into fully functional adults – your intelligence, self-esteem, love for knowledge, love for God, hard work, grooming etc.

Nothing stays as attractive as a good woman. I know the media might not glorify virtue but good women are the strength of any society.

Have you heard about Susan Wesley? She raised two generals for God – Charles and John Wesley. John Wesley is the founder of the methodist church. His influence is still pervasive in christian thinking today.

In a man’s folly, he can use and abuse sex. Keep away from allowing yourself to be used as an object of his trivial pursuits. He will soon move on to another.

In a man’s sober state, when his commitment to one woman is required, he only wants a virtuous woman. Be that woman.

I hope my analysis has been helpful.

But I hear another thought. I have been this kind of woman and I have been treated badly.

This is my two cents. You have probably cast your pearls before swines. Henceforth, Pray to God to help you recognize a real and deserving man. But never cast away restraints because of how you were treated.

Virtue is its own reward. A woman’s real beauty is the strength of her character, her fear of God. You will soon be praised. Hold on.


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