I Desperately Need to Change. But How?


“It is so easy to overestimate the importance of one defining moment and underestimate the value of making better decisions on a daily basis”…James Clear

I found the above statement reinforcing certain beliefs about change that has been slowly crystallizing through my experiences and struggles in personal growth.

It was even nice when I used the quote as a display message, only for a friend to point out how it applies in our careers and in my own reflection our lives. How does that?

The defining moment for some of us can be when we get the fantastic job or begin that long-cherished relationship with that special someone we have always wished for. It almost looked like the best thing that can happen to our lives at that time, the culmination of hope, desire and pursuit.

On a lighter note, some of us are quick to realize that the thrill is in the chase and not the catch. Some even find themselves wondering why the high seems to quickly wane. Reality sets in. What seems to be the end is merely the beginning. Life has shifted the goal post.

The long cherished relationship now requires a lot of commitment and sacrifice than we initially bargained for. The plum job is filled with its own stress and anxiety and maybe people we find very hard to work with, extremely demanding and gruesome bosses.

But you were never warned about all of this.

The blessing after a while starts to seem like a burden.

This is the juncture where we need a constant reminder of that well-worn truth that life is a journey not a destination. Life is not mean to be utopia. We never quite arrive.

What started that relationship won’t necessarily keep you in it. Promises must be converted into commitments, even when we don’t feel like it. Feelings and confessions of love must now translate into actions of love. C’mon who is perfect! But you must try. Now put your money where your mouth is.

The level of skills, attitude and intelligence that got you that great job won’t necessarily help you keep it or guarantee a successful career. Change is now required. You need to heat up up your personal development game and keep it going even it is cold around you.

You can choose to wait for another defining moment when you can get another job or a “better relationship”. Even that too will not be perfect.

What life requires however is for you to change. To become a better partner for that relationship. To become a better skilled and wiser employee, ready to take advantage of the future.

YES! We want better circumstances but we can’t remain as we are.

As Jim Rohn would say,” “Don’t wish it was easier wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge wish for more wisdom.”

While defining moments or Damascus experiences do spur change, many of us won’t experience it. Most of us will have to pull ourselves up by our bootstrap and make those tiny, daily, consistent, often pains-taking efforts to break bad habits, to gain mastery, to lead better and to love more.

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.” – Mike Murdock

We have to become better, wiser, stronger and more skilled and that will not always happen as a result of one defining moment. Sometimes it does but even Apostle Paul wrote that he died to himself daily.

To improve our circumstances, we must improve ourselves and the best way to do that is to make better decisions daily.

I need to preach this to myself now that I’m done writing it.

(Image courtsey: http://www.cushnir.com)


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